


Finding a Way to You

by jhutchlover22



Category: None - Fandom
Genre: Christianity, Death, Gen, Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-25
Updated: 2013-06-24
Packaged: 2017-12-16 02:42:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/856839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jhutchlover22/pseuds/jhutchlover22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever wanted to know more about your past? Ever had secrets in your life? I did. And I suffered greatly because of them.</p><p>Abuse. Hurt. Abandonment. </p><p>Becca Lawson felt all these. What happens when she finds out that her mom, the person who makes her life a living hell has kept secrets from her? </p><p>What happens when she learns the things that have been hidden from her? </p><p>Will she understand that God has heard her prayers? </p><p>What will happen when God sends her Jamie, will she tell anyone of her own secrets? What happens when God brings her love?</p><p>Will she ever learn how to forgive?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Have you ever thought there was no one there when you're crying inside? Have youbeen afraid to trust anyone? Have you always been afraid of opening up and being pushed away? Afraid of loving someone? I've been through all of that. I'm Becca and this is my story.

 

 

Becca's POV

Pain is all I felt as my mother chewed me out once again. What had I done this time?

"You are worthless Becca! I should have aborted you when I found out I was pregnant with you! You are nothing but a mistake!" My mother spat at me while I felt a blow to my cheek.

Tears welled up as I cupped my cheek. I slapped her back as she kicked me in my shin.

Why was this happening to me? I've never done anything too bad for my mom to treat me like this.

I mean its always been bad but not like this.

"Mom..... Why do you treat me this way? What have I done today?" I stuttered as I cupped my

cheek.

"How dumb do you think I am Becca? I know your secret... I know everything... I read the poems. I know everything. You may be seventeen but your dumb as a post. You can't keep anything from me." She hissed. I took in a deep breath. How did she find them?

How? I had hid them well.

 

It didn't use to be this way. It started about six years ago, right after I turned eleven.

My parents never used to fight or argue they used to love each other, but that was then.

My two older sisters used to tell me how happy they were when I was little. But as I grew up the more they drifted apart.

I was told I was the blame of them nearly divorcing three times. So I began to rebel. I

couldn't help it. I knew who God was but why was he letting me go through hell. My parents made this rule that I couldn't date like at all and if I did they would have to

"approve" him.

My thoughts were broken as my mom knocked me to the floor yelling at me once again. "Clean your pig sty of a room up, unless you want me to do it?" I held back the sobs threatening to break through my lashes.

"I'll do it mom." I said as I stood up shakily.

"Good. I hope you remember this conversation" She spat.

"Yes, ma'am." I said as she left the room.

I walked over to my desk in my room painted with colors of deep dark purple. I grabbed my journal from the hidden compartment in my drawer. How did she even find this? I keep it under lock and key. I bet they had security cameras in here. I opened the first page and began to sob as I read my first poem, the first day the abuse started when I was eleven.

I'm crying inside, this pain is eating me alive.

I want love I need love to rescue me from this world.

I don't know why I'm treated this way or my they yell.

If only I could find someone to take me out of this hole I'm in.

Lord if you hear me, which I doubt you do. But please take this away.

 

I flipped over to a blank page and began writing. I've been thinking about this and I'm tired of being this way and the only way us to leave this crazy earth. I'm sick and tired of my mom screaming at me and my dad being oblivious to it. I want to die. The cutting didn't take the pain away, so maybe suicide will.

I was fighting with my mind"Becca are you sure this is want you want to do? " "Yes I've gone too long living this way." Everything was telling me to just get it over with, so I grabbed the noose I have been working on for a while and positioned myself in the center of the room and stood on the stool, hung the noose and kicked the stool. Instead of the death I wanted I ended up falling from the ceiling because the rope came untied. So I came tumbling to the floor landing on my hard floor knowing I must have broken something. I stood up to realize that my side is bleeding. Great not again I thought to myself. I bet the doctors are starting to get curious at why I'm in the ER so much. No one knows I'm abused but my sisters and my cousin and aunt. They try to help but it doesn't work. They tried taking me to their church and I joined the youth group but that backfired. I started liking a guy and they found out and banned me from going to church.

I picked up my cell and dialed my cousin Rachel. Every time I've attempted a suicide or gotten severely abused, she had always taken me. She encourages me to tell someone and report it but I can't help but agree with my parents that I am a mistake.

Rachel has always been here for me. She's in her early twenties and is the most godly person I've met beside her mom.

Rachel has long strawberry blonde hair with streaks of brown going through it. Every time I have called her with problem she had always said" Well Becca I'll pray for you, but have you prayed?" Why would I pray to a God that would let me go through this.

"Hello!?" Rachel said in her chirpy cheery voice

I swallowed the tears and began to proceed to tell my cousin what I just attempted to do. "Rach, I need you to take me to the hospital? Can you come get me? Mom's not here she left a few minutes ago."

She sighed loudly into the phone and said "Bec, what did you do? Did Tammi beat you again? What happened? I'm on my way." She said hanging up.

I slowly made my way to the full length mirror and lifted my shirt and looked at the bruise that had already started forming. I might have a broken rib or two. I sighed as I brushed my long brown hair and threw it in a pony.

Twenty minutes went by and Rachel came up and busted into my room. Her eyes widened as she saw the noose and my blooded shirt.

"Becca! Oh honey. Please don't tell me you tried to commit again? Sweetie I've told you, you have to pray."

I took a deep breath and replied. "Why would I pray to someone who allows me to go through this every freaking day? If God cared about me I wouldn't be in this." I sobbed out and collapsed to the floor as Rachel ran up beside me, wrapping her arms around me.

"Let me see your stomach. Does it hurt?"

I nodded and raised my shirt wincing in pain. Her eyes widened and a tear ran down her cheek and she silently began to pray. I couldn't make out all the words but the ones I did make out were like free her and remove bondage. Why would God love me anyway, he hates me if he didn't hate me we wouldn't be in this situation.

Rachel stood up and said" Come on, lets get you to the ER. I bet they are getting curious."

"Yeah, they probably are. But its none of their business!" I snapped. Calm down Becca. You're snapping on Rachel for goodness sakes.

You could see the hurt register across her face. I looked at her and said"Rache, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap."

She looked at me with sympathy showing in her eyes. "I know you're going through a hard time. But God will handle this. He always does." She gave me a genuine smile and held her hand out to me.

I grabbed it and slowly stood up, grabbing my side in the process. We walked down the hall to the stairs of my negative house. My house was so gloomy and you could feel the negativity.

We walked down the stairs hand in hand, Rachel holding me tightly.

She guided me to her little car and we drove the fifteen minute drive to Grace Hospital.

*********

Jamie's POV

I walked the halls of Grace Hospital waiting for my mom's test results to come back. I paced praying my heart out begging God to let everything work out. My mom is being tested for stage four breast cancer, this would be the second time it has come back but thus time it would be worse. Everyone would question me saying, why do you pray to a God when you know your mom is dying. I would tell them I'm trusting him and if God takes my mom he does and I'm for his will.

My prayers are broken when I heard two girls coming in. One was close to my age, around seventeen or eighteen and she had dark brown hair that fell to her waist and she was completely gorgeous. The other was about twenty one or twenty two. She had long blonde hair that fell in waves.

I could tell that the brown headed was in pain. I could see it on her face. And as she walked she grabbed her side and her face was slightly swollen. What happened to her?

I instantly wanted to run up to her and help her but I restrained myself. I prayed that God would help her and if it was His will, I would run into her again.

There was something about her. I could see the pain in her heart. The brokenness she carried with her. I need to meet her.


	2. Chapter 2

Becca's POV

The table was hard and cold as I laid on it to get the x-rays the doctor ordered. 

One of the X-ray techs came out of the room next door and began to fill me in on what they were going to do.

"Ms. Lawson, we are going to take a series of x-rays to look at your rib cage. Dr. Matthews wants us to inject dye in you to define the picture. I will have my assistant come in in a few minutes to set you up. Your cousin would like to see you before we begin."

Rachel ran through the door and rushed to my side.

"Beccs, everything is going to be fine. Let's pray. I'm going to pray for protection over you and that God will comfort you." Rachel said in a hushed tone.

I just nodded gripping her hand as she prayed in a whisper.

"Dear Lord, I come to you now as Becca is very scared and broken. I pray that you will send her comfort and fill her with peace. Let the doctors take care of her. I pray for no fear. Heavenly Father, I know she doesn't believe that you love her or care for her but you do. In the name of Jesus Amen." She wiped the tears that were streaming down her cheeks. I took a deep breath as the techs assistant came in the room with an IV in hand.

The tech's assistant was in mid twenties and you could see the worry in her eyes as she came up to my side holding the syringe to the dye.

"Ms. Lawson, I'm going to give you an IV to put the dye in. There will be just a little pinch. The dye will make you feel very warm. Ok. I'm going to start the IV." Her long auburn hair was tied back in a pony tail and her eyes were focused on the challenge in front of her. I have tiny veins. Every time I've had to have some sort of blood work done, they have always had trouble drawing blood or putting an IV in.

As she studied my arm, I started thinking. Why would some one care enough to help me? Every time I'm hurt or sick, Rachel and Aunt Kay always comfort me.

I remember one time my mom beat me so bad that Aunt Kay picked me up after chewed my mom out and took me to her house. She cleaned up my wounds and helped me up to Rachel's room. That night I had decided that God hated me. I had prayed for a long time for freedom. I had built up a wall around me not to let people get close because they would only hurt me. 

That's also the night I started cutting. I had to do something to take the pain away. 

But the cutting just made it worse.

I could feel the warmth the dye provided all over my body. 

"Alright Becca, I'm going to start the x-rays. When I say take a deep breath do so and hold it till I've taken the picture." The X-ray tech said into the intercom from the other room.

My body ached so bad. 

"Alright Becca, hold your breath." The tech said. I held my breath as the x-ray was taken.

Twenty minutes passed and they had taken seven x-rays. Three of my back, three of my ribs and one of my shin.

We waited patiently in the ER room for the doctor to bring us the results. 

Ten minutes later a guy around my age bursted through the room. 

"Dad?! Has any of you seen a Dr. Matthews?" He asked hurriedly

"No we haven't, but he is seeing my cousin for her injuries for her fall." Rachel replied.

The boy nodded his head and hurried out of the room. This boy was tall around six' three. He had short dirty blonde hair with a little curl in it. His long sleeved polo hugged his chest and showed his defined muscles underneath. His blue eyes pierced my eyes and showed concern when he looked at me. I wonder who he was? 

*********

Jamie's POV

Hours passed as I waited for my dad to tell me my mom's test results. I know being the head ER doctor is tough, but he should know right? 

I ran through the ER and rushed to the nurses station and begged for info on where my father was.

"Ms. Sue, do you know where my father is? I need to know about my mom."

Sue Jones has been on my life for as long as I can remember. She used to babysit me when I was little. She is in her mid fifties and is a God fearing woman and partly the reason I am who I am today. She has long silver hair and has always helped my father in any situation hospital or personal.

"The last time I heard or saw him he was going into room eight. He might be there. But I'm not sure." She said showing concern.

"Thank you, Ms. Sue. I love you." 

"I love you too, Jamie. You're mom is going to be fine. It's in God's hands."

"I know it is. I'm just worried." I said as I rushed through the double doors to the ER. My mind kept wondering to the girl I saw earlier. I hoped she was okay.

I walked around to room eight hoping he was there. I hated interrupting his patients but this is my mom we are talking about.

I busted through the door not bothering looking at who the patient was. "Dad? Have you seen Dr. Matthews?" I looked at the girl who laid on the bed grabbing her side. It was her. The girl that I had seen earlier. God answered my prayer. Now that I can see her up close, her right cheek is slightly swollen and her eye is bruising. Her stomach area is bandaged up, you can see the bandage through her shirt, her shin is wrapped and she looks broken. 

The woman sitting in then chair across from her answered my question.

"No we haven't, but he is seeing my cousin for her injuries for her fall." She replied. 

I nodded my head and rushed out of the room. Before I turned around I took a quick glance at the broken girl. She was so beautiful. Her hazel eyes, her beautiful full lips, and her long healthy brown hair. She was something. I wanted to get to know her. No I needed to know her. I prayed once again that God would allow me to run into this mystery girl who is driving me insane.


	3. Chapter 3

Becca's POV

After waiting almost three hours, Dr. Matthews came into the room.

He looked like he was in his late fourties. He had a cross necklace around his neck. Great not another Christian, I thought to myself. 

His hair was greying a bit and he had a dark blonde goatee and a little stubble on his face.

He carried a manila folder in his hand and he proceeded to sit on the rolling stool. 

He put his hands in his lap and sighed." Ms. Lawson, this is the tenth time we have seen you this month. Is there something you're not telling us? Are you being abused?" I took a deep breath. Tears threatened to break but I swallowed them and looked at Rachel, she gave me a worried look. I shook my head and replied to the Dr."No, I'm just really clumsy. I'm not being abused, Dr. Matthews. My parents love me." I lied smoothly. I've gotten to where lying became easy because I had such a secret to cover up. I had this wall built up that no one could tear down.

" Becca are you sure? I'm here to help. We are here to help." He said with concern.

Again I shook my head. "No, I'm fine. Just tell me what I've broken this time."

He sighed." Well you have two broken ribs and four bruised ones. Your shin is deeply bruised. I am putting you on some painkillers for the breaks in your ribs and I'm putting a brace on your shin to help it heal because the hit to it caused some bruising on the muscles as well."

I took in the news and laid back on the bed. I wish I was dead so I didn't have to go to school tomorrow. When they see my new injuries they will pick on me for sure. I'm a senior and I'll be eighteen in two weeks. I'll be able to leave my parents and get as far away as possible. I'm planing on moving to Idaho, where I'm originally from. We moved to Chattanooga Tennessee about three years ago. I hate it here. I have no friends at all.

"Your son was looking for you a few hours back. He came in here looking for you." Rachel said to him

Dr. Matthews chucked and smiled as he ran a hand through his hair. "That's my boy Jamie for you. He's always determined to find out something I won't tell him. My wife was being tested for breast cancer today and when it comes to his momma, Jamie will do anything to find out what's going on. The thing is I don't have the heart to tell him, I'm scared to let him know his mom is dying. This is her second bout with breast cancer and its stage four. We've prayed a bunch but God's will is the best." Dr. Matthews said as he wiped a tear away. 

I felt sad inside for him. This broke my heart. I wish I could help but I had my own problems.

************* 

Jamie's POV

I couldn't believe what I just heard. I knew eavesdropping was wrong but I couldn't help it. My mom was dying.

I saw him walking toward the room while waiting for him to come to the ER. I couldn't help but listen, maybe I could find out the mystery girl's name. I quietly walked behind him tiptoeing around the corners of the ER. 

He reached room eight and I stayed behind the corner. As he entered he left the door cracked a bit. So I listened to everything. Her name was Becca. Wow what an amazing name. I wondered what she was hiding. I heard him tell them about my mother and I lost it. Why would he not tell me. 

He started walking out of the room and I tried to speed away before he saw me, but I was to late. 

I turned around as he called out to me. "Jamie! Son!" Tears poured down my face as I ran into his arms.

"How much did you hear, son?" He asked, his eyes turning glossy. 

"Everything, dad. How much longer does she have? How bad is it? Can they treat it?" 

I pleaded with my father, begging for information.

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Son, it's treatable but she has about twelve weeks. But they don't know if the chemo will work. All we can do is pray." He said.

I had to know about this girl Becca. I knew my dad had this patient confidential thing but I didn't care, I had to know.

"Dad, you know the girl in room eight? I think her name is Becca, is there any way I could meet her? I feel drawn to her. I saw her when she first walked into the ER and I could see her pain. I prayed to God asking him that if it was His will, I would run into her again and I did. I want to get to know her." He looked at me with a knowing smile and chuckled.

"Son, you are determined aren't you? Yes you can meet her but I'm not introducing you to her. You have to do that on your own. Let God work it out." He said.

I gave him a hug and he said" I have to get her prescription but you may go talk to her while I do." He smiled

I eagerly shook my head and darted toward her room.

I entered the room and I was instantly shushed. Becca was sound asleep on the bed. I looked at the girl I only knew as Becca's cousin.

"May I help you?" She asked me growing curious as she studied me.

"I just wanted to check on her. Is she okay.........?" I asked sort of hinting for her name.

"I'm Rachel by the way. And yes I think and hope so. The nurse just brought her some pain medication for the breaks in her ribs. Why are you so interested in my cousin?" She pondered.

I asked myself that same question. Why was I so interested.

"I'm not sure, Rachel. I saw y'all come in the ER together and I felt instantly drawn to her. I could see brokenness in her and I felt her hurt. I had to meet her. So I prayed and asked God if it was his will I would see her again. And I did. So I took that as a chance." I said almost out of breath.

Rachel looked at me with tears forming. "I have prayed for a long time for someone to help her and comfort her and lead her to God. She's so lost and hurt. I won't tell you what she goes through that's her story. But just don't rush a relationship with her. She never let's people get to close. She's afraid of people leaving her and hurting her. She pushes everyone away who gets too close." Rachel replied.

I sighed understanding what she was saying.

"I understand Rachel, I'll be there for her. I'll be here when she wants to open up and if she does, I'll support her and everything . I don't know why but I love her and I don't even know her. Is that crazy?" I asked Rachel.

She nodded and replied" God works in crazy ways. He knows what he's doing, we just have to trust Him."

"I agree with what you're saying. This could be all God." I said silently hoping it was God.


	4. Chapter 4

Jamie's POV

I sat there and talked to Rachel, patiently waiting for Becca to wake. I don't know why I feel the way I do. This longing inside was driving me crazy.

The room she was in made me feel depressed. The dull grey that graced the walls has a gloomy feel to it. Rachel looked restless. I know Becca wasn't staying over night but Rachel looked exhausted. "Rachel, go get some rest. I'll bring Becca home." I said hopefully.

She shook her head. "No. That won't work. Her parents are super strict, they don't want guys around her. They are afraid that any guy she comes in contact with, will take advantage of her. She's tried having many boyfriends but she's been caught every time. My aunt Tammi and uncle Bill, aren't the nicest people." She said smiling a little.

I sat there with my mind racing.

I wanted to help her so bad, but I knew I couldn't get to close.

A few minutes went by and it started to seem like hours before Becca woke up.

She had begun to stir and slowly sat up and caught my gaze.

My breath hitched in my throat. Shivers were sent up my spine and chills creeper all over me.

What is this feeling.

Her eyes shifted to Rachel and were questioning her.

"Bec , this is Jamie. He's Dr. Matthews son. He was sent by his father to see if you are okay." Rachel replied.

She just lied. I couldn't believe what I had just heard. She lied. For me.

"Hi Becca. I hope I didn't startle you." I said with a charming smile.

She gave me a look of disgust and rolled her eyes. "Look here. I'm not falling for any of your bull crap. You can leave now." She replied throwing me a smirk. 

Rachel looked at me and mumbled" Told you so."

I stood up and gave Rachel a hug but before I left the room I took a piece of paper out of my wallet and wrote my number on it. "Look if you ever need anything or just someone to talk to I'm here okay?"

She looked at me and nodded her head slowly, her gaze still locked on my eyes. Man she was beautiful.

I walked out of the cramped room and found myself constantly thinking about Becca as I made my way to the exit of Grace hospital.

**********

Becca's POV

After Dr. Matthews walked out, a nurse came in with some pain killers for the pain cause by my broken ribs. I felt myself slipping into unconsciousness.

(A/N The dreams will be in quotes so they won't be confusing)

 

'Darkness was around me. I was lying on the cold hard ground. It was wet. Very wet. I could hear footsteps then I saw my mom. She walked up to me and began hitting me. I tried to stand but I was trapped to the ground, held by two black creatures. The one on the right of me had wings with glowing eyes. The one on the left was black with claws of a lion and gallons of an eagle. They both began to pounce on me, biting me. My mother stood there with a smug smile on her face. " You are worthless. You are nothing to me. That boy hates you. You are just a mistake. I hate you and despise you. Your sisters despise you. Why do you think they are gone? That's why. Cause they hate you and despise you." Tears threatened to spill as my mother hit me once again. I tried to force my eyes open but they wouldn't budge. Suddenly a light shown through the room I was in. A figure clothed in white walked toward me. When he spoke his voice was calming. "Becca, don't push people away, I'm sending someone to help you. You will trust again. I know you think I'm not here but I am, I love you Becca." And with that I woke up'

I awoke to a pair of gorgeous eyes staring at me. My breath was caught in my throat as Jamie gazed at me. Goosebumps started all over my body. I swapped my gaze to Rachel, wondering why he was in here.

"Becca, this is Jamie. He's Dr. Matthews son. He was sent by his father to see if you are okay." Rachel said. Hmmm. Something was fishy about that.

He looked at me flashing a genuine smile and said" Hi Becca, I hope I didn't startle you." He said smiling.

I felt my cheeks heat up. What is wrong with me? 

So I put on my tough girl act and put up my wall.

I gave him a disgusted look and rolled my eyes. 

"Look here. I'm not falling for any of your bull crap. You can leave now. I replied smirking at him. 

Rachel mumbled something under her breath and she stood as she looked at Jamie. He gave her a hug and started to reach for his wallet, and took a little piece of paper out of it. And he began to scribble something on it.

"Look, if you ever need anything or just need someone to talk to, I'm here okay?" He said to me as my eyes widened. I nodded slowly as he walked out of the door.

Thirty minutes passed and Dr. Matthews came in with my release papers and my prescriptions. He told me to stay home for a few days then proceed to going to school. But that wasn't going to work for me. I'm not staying home where I'll be hurt constantly or yelled at. I was going to school no matter what. 

**********

THE NEXT DAY

Becca's POV

When I got home that night it was pure heck. My mom decided that she was mad at me because I didn't tell her where I went yesterday with Rachel, and when I told her it was the hospital she laughed claiming I was banging some guy.

So let's just say I was hit a few more times last night.

My alarm blared One Direction's what makes you beautiful as I woke from a sleepless night. I probably got four hours of sleep. Every time I close my eyes at night I have unnerving nightmares. Most of them were about my mom and dad abusing me. Dad doesn't hit me just mom, but he does verbal abuse. 

Everyday it would be something different, depending on how my parents were acting. If they weren't fighting the abuse wouldn't be so bad. But most of the time it was him telling me how much he hated me and how I'm a mistake.

I stood up stretching. I know I'm not supposed to go to school today but its better than being in this prison.

I slowly walked to my bathroom still in pain from the day before. I turned on my shower and stripped and stepped in. The scalding hot water felt good in my aching body. I washed my brown locks and shaved, grabbed my towel and stepped out.

Thirty minutes later I'm ready to go. I have to take the bus to school because my parents don't trust me enough for me to have a car. I stand at the curb waiting for the bus to pull up on the dull day. It was a little chilly for March, but what can I say I live in the mountains.

The buss pulled up after a few minutes and the doors shot open. I took my time and walked up the black stairs proceed on to the buys making my way to my seat.

********

At school it was always the same. No one wanted to be my friend cause I was too weird or something like that. I had a few friends but they were totally fake. I sort of wished Jamie was Herr. Wait why am I thinking this? I don't want him close to me, he'll just hurt me.

Part of me wondered about him the other was ready to get this day over with.

 

 

 

A/N. Thank you all for the reads and comments it means so much. This was a filler chapter the next one might be more interesting.. Love you all! Allie


	5. Chapter 5

Jamie's POV

The next few days sped by fast. Curiosity overtook me, I needed to find out more about Becca. I was at the hospital visiting my dad while my mom was having a chemo treatment.

Being the sneaky person I am when I get determined, I walked into my fathers private office.

I walked around quietly trying not to get caught.

I walked over to his desk and saw the family photos displayed across them.

Three of my mother, a few of me, and the rest of my younger brother Matthew.

My tears threatened to break at the memory of him.

Matthew was six years younger than me. Me being eighteen that would make him twelve. 

He was the cutest kid anyone had ever seen. Everyone who met him fell in love with him. Too bad his life ended early.

He was short for an eight year old, with his piercing blue eyes and his skinny stature and his light brownish hair.

I'll never forget that day, mainly because it was my fault. My parents told me and they still do that its not, that it just happened and freak accidents happen.

It happened four years ago on a glorious Sunday, right after church.

Matti and I were goofing off in the front yard playing with a football. Our house was not too far from the street but close enough for this to happen. I remember like it was yesterday.

//Flashback///

"Matti, throw me the ball back." I yelled at my eight year old brother.

He looked at me smiling, showing a mouth full of teeth. "JJ, you'll have to come and get it. I'm not throwing it back." He said as he ran further into the yard. I ran up behind him, grabbing him into my arm pulling the football out of them.

"Okay, bud this one is gonna be far." I said stepping back throwing the ball to Matti, him missing the ball it landing in the street.

Before I knew what was happening Matthew ran into the street before I could stop him. He never made it to the ball on the other side of the road. The black Mercedes Benz cleanly ran him over before I could put myself in his place.

I ran up to him sobbing as I picked up his lifeless body. Tears from my eyes soaking his shirt. I screamed for my parents.

My mother ran out of the house turning completely pale. You could see her knees buckling. 

My father's face turned white as he saw what had happened. The car never even stopped.

I sobbed into Matthews hair, his blood all over me." Matti please forgive me! I'm sorry! Oh Matti! God why! Why not me! Take me God, not my brother!" I screamed out. It was getting harder to breath. I started to hear the sirens coming around the corner. The lights of the police cars flashing brightly.

I would never forgive myself ever.

//End of flashback///

Tears welled up at the memory of Matti. I miss him. As I was looking at the pictures of Matti, my eyes wondered to the file that sitting on my fathers desk reading Becca Lawson. I knew it was wrong but I was so intrigued by it that I picked it up dropped it to the floor so it would accidentally open. And it did that just that.

I picked it up so it would stay open. And I began to read.

Becca Lawson 

Seventeen 

5'9 

Brown eyes 

Lives on 1222 Clark Drive Chattanooga Tennessee 34256

I scanned back over her address, being tempted to write it down. I fought myself and gave in typing the address down in my phone.

I will visit her later. Her parents can't be that bad. Can they? 

*************

Becca's POV

That week had flew by. My nightmares grew worse. My mom had hit me more but dad had bought her flowers or something so it wasn't as bad as usual.

School wasn't that bad. In science they gave us this crazy project to do and it was like half of my grade. 

So I walked into my dad's office to look up the info for the bacteria that I had to research.

As I was looking for the info a file caught my eye on the computer, it said

EIGHT YEAR OLD BOY KILLED AFTER HIT AND RUN BY UNKNOWN DRIVER. FAMILY HEARTBROKEN. THE SERVICE FOR MATTHEW MATTHEWS WILL BE THIS WEEKEND AT HOPE ASSEMBLY OF GOD CHURCH AT ELEVEN. THE DRIVER NEVER STOPPED OR WAS NEVER FOUND

Why was this in my computer? I'm curious. Why would my dad have this on here?

I decided to call Rachel and see if she wanted to hang out cause I wanted to get my mind off what I just saw on the computer.

"Rachel, do you want to hang? I'm so bored on this lazy Saturday."

She chuckled a bit and then replied."Yeah, you want to go shopping? And maybe get some lunch?"

"Yeah that sounds great. And I want to talk about something I saw in the computer earlier. It was really weird. I wanted to know if you knew anything about it."

"Yeah, we can talk about it at lunch. Love you pretty cousin. I'll pick you up in a few. See you soon." She said hanging up.

My mind raced with the thoughts of what I saw. I needed to find out what my father is hiding.


	6. Chapter 6

Becca's POV

Rachel picked me up like fifteen minutes later and we were off to eat lunch and just hang.

We pulled into the restaurant and glided in a parking space.

I stepped out into the brisk morning air into the parking lot of the little cafe we were eating at.

We walked in together sitting in a small booth in the back. As we waited for the waiter to appear, Rachel broke our silence.

"So, what did you want to talk about? What did you see on the computer?" She asked me with curiosity crossing her brow.

Before I could answer, our waiter walked up. He looked like he was in his late twenties and he had beautiful long brown locks, with blueish grey eyes that could make any girl melt.

His name read Sam. He flashed me a smile but kept his eyes locked on Rachel.

" Hello ladies, what can I get you today?" He asked keeping his gaze on Rachel.

I gave her a knowing look and she looked at me blushing and shaking her head.

I studied my menu and decided on a nice salad, considering I am watching my figure. Rachel tells me I'm perfectly fine the way I am, but I know better. I know that I am not skinny or beautiful, my father tells me everyday.

"I'll take a nice chef salad, and a water please? I asked Sam. He smiled and then swapped his gaze toward Rachel.

"Now, Miss what can I get you?" He said, obviously flirting. He flashed his golden smile at Rachel who's now blushing.

"Um... Um... Um... I want the Bacon Cheeseburger with extra cheese and a vanilla milkshake." Rachel replied 

Wait, Rachel never eats this stuff. What's going on? 

He smiled greatly and took our ordered and walked away.

"Rachel, what was that about? You never eat burgers?" 

"I'm just hungry today, that's all." Was her reply.

While we waited for our food to arrive, my curiosity got the best of me so I asked Rachel. 

"Okay, about what I saw on the computer. It was a file that was labeled eight year old boy being killed by a hit and run by an unknown driver and the kid's name was Matthew Matthews. Do you know anything?"

She looked at me with widened eyes and then shook her head. "I know nothing."

Something was off about her answer, but I quickly shook the thought away. The smell in here is so delightful. The coffee sent was very powerful as I took a deep breath taking it in. The place is very vibrant with the neon colors, its more of a diner than a café. The booths are a bright red and they are lined with shiny black lining on the outside of them. It kind of reminded me of an eighty's diner with the retro feel.

I could smell our food before it even arrived. Rachel's burger smelled delightful. The wonderful aroma of the crispy bacon made my mouth water. Her milkshake looked delicious and I wanted to devour it. I looked at my plain salad and felt dull as I saw Rachel devour her food glancing at Sam every chance she got. It was unnerving watching my cousin undress this guy with her eyes. Rachel is the Godliest woman I know, what is going on?

"Rache, I see the way you're looking at him. What's up?"

"Huh?" She said I obviously broke whatever daydream she was having about Sam.

"Rache, you obviously like him, go talk to him." I said eyeing her.

"Its not that easy, Becca." She said a little sadness showing in her eyes. 

"What do you mean?" 

She sighed deeply.

"We have been talking for a while but that's all it is. He won't tell me how he feels like he's being shady with his feelings. We met at a youth conference a while back but he must not feel the same as me." Rachel said wiping a tear from her eye.

I said nothing more and went back to my food and my mind wandered to what I saw in my computer at home. 

************

 

Jamie's POV

After leaving the hospital, I decided to pay Becca a visit. It's Saturday, why wouldn't she be home. 

I walk out to the large parking lot at the hospital looking for my nice convertible and after five minutes, I find the deep read car and swiftly open the door and slide into the seat. After placing my hands on the wheel, I prayed a quick prayer asking to God to protect Becca wherever she was. That she would be safe and sound. I flipped on my radio turning it to the local christian station and I began singing along to the song playing.

'Give me your eyes for just one second, give me your eyes so I can see 

Everything that I keep missing give me love for humanity'

I kept humming the song as I followed the directions on my GPS on my phone. 

It took me about thirty minutes to get there from the hospital.

I smiled as I heard my GPS say destination on the right. I turned into her driveway glancing at her beautiful two story house. The brick layering on the outside is beautiful and the trees in the yard are nice beautiful oak trees.

The sun is shining beautiful and it's chilly today.

I walked up the front door of Becca's house, the odd colored front door was a weird shade of pink.

I stood there waiting to ring the bell. Why was I so nervous? I took a deep breath and rang the door bell. 

It seemed like an eternity before someone answered. 

The woman who opened the door was in her late fourties early fifties. Her long luscious brown chocolate locks had a few grey streaks in them. Her slight pump stature made her look older than she was. Her grey eyes had the looks of daggers in them and she looked drunk. She stared at me like I had three heads. Her voice made me tremble when she spoke. 

"Who are you? And why are you here?" She hissed at me.

I shook at her words. I stuttered afraid what she was going to say.

"I'm here to see Becca? She was at the hospital the other day and I was seeing if she was okay?" I replied

"That little whore." I heard her mumble under her breath.

"I'll let her know you stopped by. I didn't get your name?" She said looking thoughtful. Something was off about her. She doesn't seem as nice as she's acting.

"I'm Jamie Matthews." I replied. 

"Nice to meet you, Jamie. I'll let her know you stopped by." As she walked back to her door, I heard things I probably shouldn't have.

"Oh, I can't wait to get my hands on her! Going off and screwing guys! Next thing you know she's gonna be pregnant! I can't believe that lil slut of a daughter. I hate her!"

I gasped at the words I just heard. No wonder Becca was so broken, her mom talked to her like trash.

I walked back to my car, and began to weep. I don't know what came over me, but I was overwhelmed by sadness and it was like I could feel Becca's pain. But something told me that Becca had a bigger secret that she was keeping.


	7. chapter 7

Becca's POV

After we ate and Sam and Rachel flirted, she drove me home.

Rachel kept on glancing at me while trying to keep her eyes on the road.

Something was on her mind. 

I broke our awkward silence and said" What are you thinking about?"

My beautiful cousin looked at me with her piercing grey eyes, her gorgeous locks blowing in the breeze. She sighed" Are you ever going to call Jamie? I think he really likes you."

"Why would I call him? He just probably wants to get in my pants. Plus I never let anyone in, everyone who is in my life or comes into it either hurts me or leaves me. That's why I have that wall Rachel." I said while tears threatening to spill.

She stopped the car in my driveway and turned to look at me." Becca, have you ever thought that Jamie might be different? I saw the way he looked at you, he looked concerned. He looked at you with sympathy. I think God sent him, Becca." She said giving me a serious look.

I took a deep breath and replied" How can you keep saying God did that or he's doing this, when obviously he keeps allowing me to live in hell. If God truly loved me I wouldn't living this way. My parents would love me, I would be allowed to date, they would trust me and there wouldn't be so many freaking secrets in my life that I have to keep or that people are keeping from me That's why I'm better off dead!." I screamed, with tears slipping from my eyes. 

Rachel looked at me her grey eyes glossing over with fresh tears and she threw her arms around my neck. We sat there for the next few minutes just sobbing, holding onto each other. 

"Look, I know you don't believe it but God hears your every cry, every struggle. He knew your were going to go through it. He knows Becca." Rachel said

"I just need proof, Rachel." I said unbuckling my belt and began pull myself out of Rachel's dark blue Mustang Convertible. 

"I know. Look do you think you're parents would let you come with me this weekend to a youth conference?"

"I doubt it Rache, they never let me go anywhere."

"I'll get my mom to talk to yours, sound good?" Rachel asked, you could see the understanding in her eyes.

I took a deep intake of the fresh clean air and replied" Yeah that sounds great. Call me later?" 

"Yeah I will after I talk to my mom. I hope you can come!!" Rachel yelled as I walked up to my "loving" abode. See how I said loving? There is nothing loving about my home. I don't know what caused my parents to start acting this way but like I said it began when I was eleven. It got worse when I was thirteen, right before my fourteenth birthday. It was a day I'll never forget..

 

/////FLASBACK//////

I arrived home after eating lunch with Rachel and her family on a beautiful Sunday, it was mid March on that ''lovely'' day. Before I could even walk through the door it started. My mom grabbed me by my hair and started kicking me to the floor. I could smell the strong aroma of alcohol on her. She had started drinking when I was little before the abuse started. But she wasn't an alcoholic then, like she is now.

"Mom, what now?" I asked grabbing my now aching ankle. She walked over to where I was lying and slapped me on my face, there will be a bruise there later."Look, you are a mistake!!! And you always will be, today wouldn't have happened if you weren't born!! I HATE YOU BECCA!!! Did you know you're the reason your father won't touch me anymore? You are the reason today happened!! You're the reason I drink!!!" She walked up to me and threw me into the wall. I landed on my back, but she didn't stop. She drinks everyday, there isn't a day she goes without being sober. I felt the warm blood running down my neck, the impact of the sharp brick wall colliding with my head.

I lifted my hand to the back of my neck, and i was right it was bleeding. I showed my hand to my mom and she just laughed at me. "Haha, look at you. You're so helpless!! Look there's no Rachel and Aunt Kay to help you now, huh? Remember they are on that trip. So today you are helpless!!" She hissed at me. 

I found my composure and stood up but only to be knocked back to my feet again. So I just decided to sit there, while my head poured out my blood, turning the back of my shirt a deep wine colour. The pain was unbearable. My mom gave me one more glare before turning to go out the door. After she left I slowly stood up, grabbing the back of my head. I trudged up the stairs and went to the bathroom to clean up my head.

After I cleaned and bandaged the deep gash in my head, I went to my room and found the penknife, I keep hidden in my drawer. I made my way back to the bathroom to do the only thing that took the pain away. I began to slit my wrists, the warm blood oozing down my olive skin. Silent tears ran down my cheeks as I cut deeper.

The more I cut the more the pain slowly went away. The depression I'm in just made it worse, with every cut I made. I knew there was no going back. But something stuck in my head that day. What had happened today that made my mom hate me so much?

////////END OF FLASHBACK/////////

 

The memory still burned in my mind as I walked into the front door of my house. "Becca?" I heard my mother scream. Oh great, I thought to myself. "Yes, mother?" "Witch" I mumbled under my breath. "There was a boy here to see you earlier. His name was Jamie. Who is he?" My mother questioned me, giving me daggers. I can see where this is going. 

"Mom, Jamie is a guy I met at the ER. His father is Dr. Matthews. He sees me every time your actions send me there." I spat feeling hatred toward the woman who I call mother. 

She walked up to me with her whiskey glass in hand. You could smell the alcohol from the other room. 

"Liar" She spat. Her breath reeking of her Jack Daniels Whiskey. "You do nothing but lie!! She slurred. "How many times did you screw him, Becca?" 

"Mom! How many times do I have to tell you, I'm a virgin? I'm not screwing guys. Just cause you caught me making out with a guy. That doesn't mean I'm out having sex everyday. You hardly ever let me out of the house unless I'm with Rachel or Aunt Kay, why would I do that? How would I even go meet up with a guy, MOM!!??" 

She strolled over to me and slapped the ever living day lights out of me. I grabbed my throbbing cheek and kicked my mom back. I rarely fight back, but today I wasn't in the mood. We both fell to the floor, beating each other till blood spilt. We were stopped short when the phone rang. I hoped that it was Aunt Kay.

********** 

Tamie's POV

My daughter what can I say? I do hate her I can't help it. She has given me a bunch of reasons to. I mean because of her, her father doesn't touch me anymore. After she was born, I had no sleep. Her sisters didn't cause me that much trouble. They were little angels. But Becca is totally different. 

She has put me and my husband through hell. She says we put her through it, but is she wrong.

 

I picked myself off the floor after my little" quarrel" with Becca and walked to the constantly ringing phone. 

"Hello?" I said chirpy, trying to cover my irritation.

"Tammi? It's Kay. I was wondering if you would let Becca spend the night this weekend and go to a youth conference this weekend, it's here in town but I thought it would be easier to have her spend the night." 

I sighed running a hand through my disheveled hair." No, I"m not letting her Kay, you know what will happen. She'll run off and screw some guy. I'm not having that." 

I could literally hear Kay, roll her deep blue eyes over the phone. "Listen Tammi, Becca would be with me the whole time okay. I won't let her out of my sight. Is that okay with you?" She pleaded. 

I rolled my eyes. I guess letting her go would be a good thing, she could finally get some Jesus in her life. God has been good to me but the most terrible thing he has let happen to me was the birth of Becca. "I guess that would be okay, she needs Jesus!! Just make sure she stays with you. I mean it baby sister!!!" I huffed out. "Okay, Tammi, I get it. You might need Jesus more than your daughter!!" And with that she hung up. 

I can remember when times were simpler, before I became an alcoholic and before my husband Bill basically rejected me. 

 

///FLASHBACK///

"Becca." I called my beautiful three year old daughter. She was the light of my life. I had regretted having her but when I held her in my arms, it all changed. " Mommy... You call me?" My beautiful three year old asked me. I picked her up and sat her on the kitchen counter, where I was cooking supper. Her deep blue eyes glowed into mine and her honey brown hair pulled back into two braids. "Go call your sisters to eat. And tell daddy to come here."

"Otay mommy." She replied after I placed her on the floor, bouncing away to call everyone to dinner. 

A few minutes later, my husband came down the stairs looking angry. 

"Bill, what is it?" He huffed out and shot me a glare. 

"Becca, came and told me to get down here, while I was in the shower, Tammi..!!" 

I held back a laugh as my three daughters bounded down the stairs. Chrystal is the oldest with long flowing blond locks, looking like her father, while Jessica, the middle child, had a dirty blond mop sat upon her head, with beautiful hazel colored eyes. Now Becca was different, she looked just like me, with her long wavy, amber brown hair, with deep blue eyes.

"Tammi, dear. Can you explain to our three year old that you can't open the shower when daddy is in there.!"

I busted out with laughter as Becca's face turned bright red, as Chrystal and Jessica laughed. 

After dinner Bill and I tucked our kids in bed and went to our own humble bedroom. The cushy bed waiting to devour my achy body. Before I could do anything, Bill looked at me grinning from ear to ear. "Well, the girls are asleep, wanna have some fun?" I laughed at my husbands sheepish comment as he walked over to me and put his hands on my waist. He pushed a strand of hair behind my ear and slowly began to kiss me collarbone making his way to my lips, each kiss sending shiver across my body. "I love you.." I said to him. "Tammi, I love you more than anything." He replied to me. I didn't know at that time that, that would be the last time I heard that...

////////END OF FLASHBACK/////////

 

I wiped the tears that were streaming down my face at the memory. I need a drink. I wish time would go back to then, I wish my husband would tell me he still loved me but no he doesn't and it's all Becca's fault. 

I ran into the dull kitchen and grabbed my bottle of vodka and began chugging the alcohol down my throat, leaving a burning sensation. I collapsed to the floor sobbing as the booze clouded my mind, wishing times were different.


	8. Chapter 8

Becca's POV

After the little fight with my mom, I pulled myself from the floor and made my way to my safe place, my room. My room is filled with the colours of deep blues and purples, making my room almost depressing to be in.

My cell began to blare Justin Bieber's As Long As You Love Me, and I instantly knew it was Rachel.

I sighed, pushing my long auburn fringe behind my ears as I answered the phone. "Hello?" 

A high pitched squeal pierced my ears on the other end of the phone."My mom talked yours into letting you come this weekend and stay at my house. The conference will be at Hope Assembly of God, if you want to tell your mom. Oh guess what she said to my mom?" 

I sighed and rolled my eyes at my overenthusiastic cousin."What did my loving mother say?" Rachel laughed at the way I said loving. "Well apparently, Aunt Tammi thinks you need Jesus more than she does." Rachel said guffawing. 

"Wow, she's gonna say I need Jesus when all she does is either hit me, yell at me, or treat me like trash, and she thinks I'm the one who needs Jesus!!!?" I bellowed out. Now I"m mad. My mother has no right to say those things about me, when she is the one who needs 'Jesus' more. Ugh. "I didn't mean to make you mad, Becca." Rachel cooed into the phone. 

I let out a deep breath that I didn't even know I was holding in."You didn't make me mad, the she devil did." I responded harshly. 

"Look Beccs, I know you "hate" your mom, but deep down under all the hurt she has put herself through over the years, she still loves you." 

"I don't care what you say Rache..." She cut me off. 

"You listen to me, God will take this pain away. I don't know when or where or how, but He will. I seriously think that God brought Jamie in your life for a reason. I don't care if you cut me off or argue with me but listen Becca, GOD ALWAYS WINS!!" And with that she hung up.

Slightly aggravated, I ran over to my desk and began the same procedure that I always thought helped with the pain. But this time I was tired of living. I took the penknife and began to cut right into my veins so I could bleed out, praying no one would find me so I could just die.

Within minutes, my deep copper blood was displayed all across the prefect white nylon floors.I slowly started slipping from consciousness, and I could feel my heart rate beginning to calm. This is it. I'm going to die. As soon as my eyes closed, I heard my name. Who called it I don't know. Strong arms picked me off the floor as I eased into unconsciousness.

************

Jamie's POV

I don't know what possessed me to go back to Becca's but I did.

During my prayer time, while I was reading the book of Proverbs and reading on Wisdom, when I felt a sudden pull to go to Becca's. 

I prayed"Lord, I don't know what Your plan is, but for whatever reason you have me going over there for, let her be okay. Amen."

I rushed out of my room, filled with t colours, and grabbed my keys and made my way to my cherry red, 2012 Toyota Pick up. The drive to her house from mine was shorter than it was driving to the hospital. It took probably ten minutes to get to her house from mine. The sky was beautiful today, the vibrant shades of blues and white. I rolled down my window, and threw my arm out the side of it, feeling the breeze hit my hair limb.

I glided into the driveway, taking in the scenery, I strutted out of my car and walked up to find the door slightly ajar. Without thinking I screamed" Becca!" I clapped my hand over my mouth, hoping no one heard me, specially her mother. Her house has a negative feel to it, I can't explain it but it makes me want to ball up and cry. The house is painted with dark blues and greys, the living room has brick pillars the come together at a point, and the interior looks like a millionaire has been through here. A large 42'inch Samsung Flat screen graces the wall above the fireplace and a fully automated surround sound with speakers set up under and around the fireplace.

I pushed the thoughts of how much this place must cost, and began looking for Becca. I ran up the stairs and began opening every door I came across. The fist one I came to, must have been her room. It was, covered in a clouded grayish, violet shade. I searched in her room for her, but she was no where to be found in her room. 

The strong odor of blood filled my nostrils. It led me to the bathroom. I braced myself before opening the door to the bathroom. "Oh my God, Becca" I screamed..

My heart sank at the sight. Becca's on the floor ,blood everywhere. Becca looks lifeless. Her eyes slightly open, blood all over her beautiful pale body. Her auburn locks sopping from the blood, that spilled from her body. I grabbed my phone from my back pocket and called my dad. He will know what to do.

"Hello". My father answered in his deep husky voice.

Trying not to sound panicked, I took a deep breath and composed my shaky body. "Dad, I'm at Becca's and there's blood everywhere!! I think she was cutting, but I'm not sure. I just came here and I saw her. I was having prayer time at home and something told me to go see her and I did. Now she's slowly dying." I said with tears streaming down my face, as I looked at the girl who I deeply cared for. 

"Son, bring her here as fast as you can. She's going to need a blood transfusion. Hurry son. You have no time to waste." He said as he hung up. 

I rushed to her side and carefully picked her up as if she was precious cargo. I carried her bridal style all the way to my pick up outside. I placed her in the passenger seat and sped to the hospital.

*********

At the hospital, it felt like a lifetime before I go to see Becca. I sat there silently praying, and before I knew it the ER doors slammed open. A blond and red blur flashed past me. 'Rachel' I said to myself. She sped to the nurses station and began her questioning. The nurse pointed to me. Rachel looked at me and instantly relaxed. 

She ran up to me and threw her arms around my neck. 

"What happened?" She questioned me, with fear obvious in her eyes. "How did you know something was wrong?"

"I was at my house and having my prayer time, when all of the sudden I felt the urge to go check on her and that's when I found her. She was cutting, Rachel."

Tears began to well up in Rachel's eye."How did you know where she lived?" 

I chuckled to myself and smiled" Well, lets just say my dad is the head ER Doctor and I have my ways. I visited the other day and her mom was home. I didn't know she was that mean. When I left, I heard somethings I don't think were meant for my ears." 

Rachel looked at me nodding her head." Yeah, like I said my Aunt and Uncle aren't nice people."

We waited and waited. Hours went by then my father tapped me on my shoulder. "Son, Rachel. She's awake now. Jamie she wants to see you."

My jaw dropped. She wants to see me? Why? Did my dad tell her that I saved her life?

Before I stood to walk to Becca's room I prayed. 'Lord, you have Your hand in this. Let everything go according to Your plans Lord. Amen'


	9. Chapter 9

Jamie' POV

 

I walked into Becca's room and looked at her weak form. If it weren't for me she would be dead right now. The room was sterile. The smell of the hospital was over powering. She had been moved to a regular room over an hour ago, and on the fourth floor too. She looked like she had just woken up from a long sleep and her eyes were half opened, half closed. She looked at me and gave a soft smile. Her skin was the same pale olive color it had been when I had found her. An IV was in her right arm, bright red blood flowing through the lines.

"Jamie? Why did you save me?" She asked in almost inaudible whisper. I looked at her admiring her beautiful features. Her gorgeous blue eyes that sparkled like crystal. Her lips, oh her lips how I wish they were on mine. I wish I could taste the inside of her mouth and wrap my arms around her and keep her safe. "Jamie?" My thoughts broke as she spoke my name. I turned my gaze to her and began admiring her again. "Yes, Becca?" I responded.

"Why did you save me?" She asked weakly.

I sighed greatly and ran my hand through my messy blond locks. I decided not to answer her question but ask her one. One that was tugging at my mind. "Why did you want to die?" She stared at me, looking down at my shirt, her red blood completely soaked through my plain alabaster Polo. She turned her gaze to the window, looking out into at the now setting sun. "I'm tired of living. There isn't anything to live for anymore, Jamie. I make life miserable for everyone else. It would be better if I was gone, wouldn't it?" A tear runs down her bony cheek, leaving a streak as it goes down the pitiful structure. My heart breaks at her not wanting to live. It hurts me so bad, and I wish she would open up to me and tell me what happens.

"No, it wouldn't. You know why? Cause Satan would win! Satan doesn't win Becca! God does! I don't know why you're hurting or why you don't trust me, but God does and HE wants to take whatever pain or suffering you have away." 

She rolls her eyes and throws her hand to her face and grunts."God, you're just like Rachel. You think you know everything but you don't. If God loved me I wouldn't be laying in the freaking hospital bed. I wouldn't go through hurt everyday and my parents would love me!!" She screams out and my eyes widen. I never suspected this. I knew her mom was rude and all, but I didn't know that she thought her parents hated her. This is sad. 

I couldn't say anything else. So I stood up and began walking to the door. Before I stepped out, she said something. 

"Jamie?" She said, her eyes burning into my skull. I quickly circled around to face her. A slight smile on her pale but perfect face. 

"Yes, Bec?" She blushed at my attempt of a nickname and let out a small chuckle. 

Her eyes turned serious for a second, then they swapped to grateful. 

"Thank you for saving me." She said and with that I swiftly walked out of the dreadful hospital room.

 

 

Becca's POV

 

I could feel myself slipping farther and farther into darkness. Whoever picked me up is very strong. I could feel the the muscles flexing as they carried me down the stairs. I felt my body falling more and more into the unknown abyss and right before I completely lost consciousness, I saw the prettiest pair of blue eyes, and I knew then who my rescuer was. I was bamboozled at how and why he found me. How did he even know I was in trouble? I knew that as soon as I came to I would have to ask him why he saved me. 

When I awoke, I was in the ER of course, with dozens of doctors and nurses surrounding my, poking and prodding my badly damaged body. They told me that it was a miracle I survived and that I had lost a lot of blood. 

I was still mad at Jamie for saving me, the whole point of that was to die! I mean I don't want to live. I mean there's not a point in living anymore.

It seemed like hours had passed before a familiar face walked into the room. Dr. Matthew, wearing his usual attire ( nice kacki pants, white buttoned down dress shirt with tie, and his pure white doctor coat) for being a doctor. A forced smile came across his face and I knew what he was about to ask. 

"So Becca, can you tell me why you wanted to end your life?" I put my gaze on the ceiling and spoke softly, almost a whisper.

"I don't know. Maybe I'm tired of being a problem to everyone who comes in my life. Maybe I'm tired of my parents hating me and blaming me for every mistake that happens, or maybe it's just I hate this world and I'm tired of living, Why don't you pick Doc." I replied sarcastically. 

He just chuckled and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Becca, I think it's time you talk about what happens at home."

I fiercely shook my head no, demanding we not discuss anything. He doesn'y push it any longer, instead he tells me that I'm being moved to a regular room on the fourth floor and will be staying for a few days. 

Before I know it, I'm being pushed into an elevator and being transported to the fourth floor. The hospital is so depressing. The interior makes it even worse. The dark drab colors of black and grey do nothing for it and the feel this place has makes it even more gloomy.

We arrive on the fourth floor moments later and I am instantly sleepy. I fall into a dreamless sleep and sleep for what seems like hours. 

Dr. Matthews, came into the room to see how I'm doing.

" Becca, how are you feeling?" He asks with a genuine smile.

"Pretty good considering I almost died." I lied. I feel like crap. My head hurts and I'm weak, very weak. I wish I could just die. I hate feeling helpless, and that no one cares to help me, at least it seems that way.

He laughed his deep husky laugh and just shook his head,

"Ms. Lawson, what are we going to do with you? You keep getting into trouble. We might just have to lock you up in a cell and keep you there, huh?" He suggested smiling.

I just nodded agreeing with his joke. 

"Well then I must be on my way. I'll be back in a few to check on you soon. Is there anything I can get you before I leave?" 

I instantly began thinking, I knew exactly what I wanted. 

"Yes Dr. Matthews, there is. Can you tell Jamie I want to see him, if he's here. I know he's probably not here but if he is can you to come see me?"

He looked at me and threw on the biggest smile I've ever seen. It showed happiness, joy, confusion, and many others. "Of course he's here Becca, he hasn't left since he brought you here. He won't leave. Rachel has told him to leave many times but he won't budge."

I smile at the thought of the man who saved my life and his stubbornness. Why would someone save someone he barely knows? I guess I'll have to ask him later. "Well, when you see him please let him know I want to see him?" The doctor just smiles and nods his head and walks out of the room.

Within minutes Jamie appears. His apperence ruggid and a little sloppy. I give him a small smile and ask" Jamie, why did you save me?" 

He just stares at me and now I know he's checking me out. He scrolls his eyes down my body and then they land promtly on my lips. Hmmm. I wonder what his lips taste like. I wonder how they would feel against mine. Wait, why am I thinking thses thoughts. I push the lustful thoughts to the back of my mind. "Jamie." I said again, this time getting his attention.

"Yes, Becca" His soft but strong voice broke the silence between us. I smile sweetly and proceed with my question. 

"Why did you save me?" I ask coming out in a whisper. He looked at me but his answer isn't what I wanted, it was another question.

"Why did you want to die?" I just stared at him, my eyes trolling down his sexy model. My eyes stop at his torso, his shirt is covered in blood, my blood. I instantly feel guilty and I wish the floor would swallow me up. I shifted my gaze to window, watching the sun set. I take a deep breath as I feel the tears threatening to fall.

"I'm tired of living. There isn't anything to live for anymore, Jamie. I make life miserable for everyone else. It would be better if I was gone, wouldn't it?" A tear falls down my cheek and I look at Jamie's face. 

He just sighs and replies."No, it wouldn't. You know why? Cause Satan would win! Satan doesn't win Becca! God does! I don't know why you're hurting or why you don't trust me, but God does and HE wants to take whatever pain or suffering you have away." 

Getting sick and tired of it from he and Rachel, I roll my eyes and throw my hand across my face. I let out a grunt and respond with the harshest comment ever. ."God, you're just like Rachel. You think you know everything but you don't. If God loved me I wouldn't be laying in the freaking hospital bed. I wouldn't go through hurt everyday and my parents would love me!!" I scream letting out a sob.

Jamie'seyes widened and I realize I've said to much. He doesn't say anything else but turns to the door and starts to leave, but i realize i don't want him to, but I can't just ask him to stay. So I say" Jamie?" 

He quickly turns and looks at me, gazing at my blue orbs, while I melt at his. I smile and just stare at him while I wait for his reply. "Yes, Bec?"

My cheeks instantly heat up, wait what? I'm blushing? I smile at his attempt to nickname me. 

"Thanks for saving me." I say showing true generosity with my eyes. He nods his head and quickly leaves the room. 

That night, all I think about is Jamie, and why he is in my life and why he saved me.


	10. Chapter 10

Becca's POV

 

 

(A/N Okay this chapter is starting out with a dream Becca is having while in the hospital. It will be italicised so it won't be confusing.)

'' The brightness that was around me was almost blinding. The smell was of roses and lilacs. I couldn't tell where I was, but what I did know, it was angelic. The clouds were of pink and purple. But what I couldn't piece together was where I was.

"Becca." A voice called out to me. The voice was very calming and I instantly relaxed at the soothing tone of this unknown tongue.

"Y... Ye..Yess" I stuttered out. "Why do you not trust me? Or the plans I have for you? Why do you doubt me, Becca? I see every tear that falls, I hear every cry you make.

"I have heard the prayers that you prayed for comfort, but you need to trust me. I have put Jamie in your life for a reason. You two have a lot in common but you don't realize it yet. He has experienced hurt and abandonment. He is having a hard time forgiving people for things he blames on his self. Open up to him and he will open up to you!

 

 

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

 

"Listen to me my child, I am here even though you can not see me. Please don't be afraid! I am taking care of you!

I AM THE GREAT I AM"

 

 

I awoke with sweat dripping from my brow. That dream felt so real. What I couldn't put together is WHO that was. Could it be God? No that's not possible. I gave up on Him a long time ago!

 

It was now seven thirty am and I would be going home tomorrow. I looked over at the sleeping figure across the depressed, antiseptic aroma filled room.

He looked so peaceful when he slept, except he had worry across his face. His blond locks fell in a tousled mess on his perfect head. His rugged body was cramped in a tiny purple arm chair and his robustness would contract every time he switched positions. I could see they sturdy built body underneath the compacted under-armor shirt. His soft luscious lips contorted into a soft smile and his eyes opened groggily, looking around the room then stopping once he saw me.

He scooted his disgusting eggplant colored chair to sit beside me.

"Hey, how did you sleep?" I smiled at him a genuine smile.

"I slept okay, for being in a hospital bed." I said trying to make a joke.

He chuckled. "I bet it is better than being in a freaking uncomfortable arm chair that smells like but!" He replied making me laugh my annoying giggle.

"I told you to go home yesterday. Rachel can stay with me, you don't have too." I said knowing what I was getting myself into.

He frowned at me and then began gazing his deep blue orbs into mine. And before I knew it his lips were on mine. I couldn't do anything, I was to in shock. I decided to kiss back. Our lips moving in sync as the kiss deepened. He nibbled my lower lip asking for permission. I gladly responded opening my mouth.

I had daydreamed of this moment. Tasting him and feeling his lips on mine. A tingling sensation started at my toes and slowly made its way to my head and I began to fill dizzy. We took a breath and he rested his forehead on mine. My eyes filled with wonder and shock and confusion.

He stood up, pushing his chair away from me, walking towards the window, gazing at the sunlight breaking through the windows.

"I'm sorry." He said, with the sound of tears trying to break through.

I instantly felt guilty. Wait why was I feeling guilty? He kissed me. Well, I did kiss back and I did enjoy it. What am I saying?

Becca get your thoughts together.

"No Jamie, I'm sorry!" I haf cried half yelled out, waterworks threatening to start.

He sharply turned to me, fists clenched to his side, face red with embarrassment and anger. Wow what a sight, I thought to myself.

He paced his steps as he marched over to me. "Becca, that was not your fault. It was mine, I let my selfish desires get in the way of everything. That was nothing but lust and sin. That should not have happened. I'm sorry Becca." He said, as my heart broke at his apology.

He began pulling his phone out of his dark wash blue jeans, and fumbled with it, I guess trying to quickly make a call.

"What are you doing?" I asked growing irritated and suddenly very impatient.

He huffed a sigh of frustration and pinched the bridge of his nose."I'm calling Rachel to come stay with you. I can't be here."

My curiosity grew at his statement. And befoe I knew it I was getting angry, then I remembered what the person in my dream said "Open up to Jamie and he will open up to you"

Those words constantly rang through my mind.

What was the pain he went through?

I needed to ask.

I needed to open up to him and it needed to be soon.

 

Jamie's POV

I sat there watching her sleeping form, toss and turn every few minutes. I had not left her side since she had been admitted in the hospital. Rachel could see how tired I was every time she came to see Becca, and tried to get me to leave, but I refused every time and began an argument.

I rested my head back into the most uncomfortable chair I have ever sat in. The room was worse than it was when I was here yesterday.

The smell grew stronger, odors of antiseptics and just plain ole depression.

The room was graced with odd color choices of grey and the ceilings were painted pure charcole.

The only beautiful thing about this room is, the facianting broken girl, who had so many secrets and walls built up, sleeping peacefully in the bed across the room from me.

I looked at the clock on the revolting wall and realized it was around 2 A.M. I knew I needed sleep.

I closed my eyes, praying that sleep would take over.

'I threw the ball further, hoping Mattie would catch it. "JJ, I got it. I got it. I got i..." Mattie's voice was cut off by the speeding roar of a car.. My eight year old brother's now lifeless body falling into the cold, hard asphalt.

" Mattie!" I screamed as I ran to him, picking his bloodied body up from the scene. I pushed back his blonde curls as tears streamed down my face.

I called for my parents but the didn't come. Only thing I saw was a light, a bright light. I looked back down at the lifeless form of my brother and I instantly began to blame myself.

A voice in the back of my head began saying" Look here, you killed your only brother. You killed him, at age fourteen you are a murder." Tears ran freely down my face as I looked once again at Mattie's face. I heard a voice that calmed me" Jamie, it's not your fault." And with that I awoke.'

 

 

My eyes slowly opened and they searched around the room for Mattie. I knew it was a dream, it's no the first I've had. My eyes suddenly locked on the most dazzling eyes I have ever seen.

Becca's blue orbs locked onto mine, making me melt instantly.

I glanced up at the clock realizing it was morning. The sunlight had already began breaking though the pale off white curtains that graces the long angular window located on the far left of the room.

She was breathtaking, she always is, Every time I look at her, my breath hitches in my throat.

Her dark chocolate locks, slightly messy from her slumber, was flowing down her back. How I wish I could run my hands through them, and caress her soft neck, and gently plant kisses on it making my way to her lips. What am I thinking. We like just met. I silently prayed" Lord, please guide my thoughts and not let them be unholy. Lord, let Becca open up to me in your time. Lord whatever baggage she has, let Your will be done. Amen."

I looked over at her, and scooted the ugly purple chair towards her.

"Hey, how did you sleep?" I asked her, while giving her a sweet smile.

She smiled back showing true genuine. " I slept okay, for being in a hospital bed."

I chucked" I bet it is better than sleeping in a freaking uncomfortable arm chair that smells like butt!!" I replied, as she laughed the most adorable little giggle in the entire universe.

" I told you to go home yesterday. Rachel can stay with me, you don't have to." She said, obviously knowing where this was headed.

I frowned hating where this was going. I looked up at her, suddenly locked onto her eyes. The whole room stood stll and it was just her and I.

Before I could control my actions, my lips were on hers. My hands instantly were thrown around her neck, as she just sat there, caught off gaurd.

How I have dreamt about this.

Her lips upon mine.

Before I knew it she kissed back. Her fingers, slowly moving through my curly blonde locks.

The kiss intinsified as I nibbled her lower lip asking for permission, she gladly opened her mouth as I deppened the kiss that send shockwaves down my spine.

We both pulled away for air. Our foreheads resting on each others.

I searched her eyes, looking for anything since she was saying nothing. Her breathing rapid as mine is, from our just now heated kiss.

She looked, shockedand confused.

Then it hit me. What have I just done?

I stood up, pushing my chair away from her bed, and proceded to walk to the window on the other side of the room, staring at the sunlight shining through.

Tears began to form, and I tried to push them away. "I'm sorry."

Why did I do it again!

I put my own selfish feelings ahead of God's.

"Lord, please forgive me, Father." I silently prayed.

 

"I'm sorry." Becca half yelled half cried out.

I instantly filled with anger. 

With my hands clenched at my sides, I walked over to her.

"Becca, that was not your fault it was mine. I let my selfish desires get in the way of everything. That was nothing but lust and sin. That should not have happened. I'm sorry Becca." I could see the heartbreak all over her face. 

 

I fumbled with my pocket, reaching my phone, knowing I had to call Rachel to stay with Becca.

"What are you doing?" She said fuming with anger.

I sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I'm calling Rachel to come stay with you. I can't stay here."

Hurt registered across her face, as I spoke with Rachel telling her I had to leave.

I grabbed my things and walked out of the gloomy room, happy and sad at what just happened.


	11. Chapter 11

Becca's POV

 

I got out of the hospital yesterday, and I am staying with Rachel and her mom till I get back on my feet.

Jamie has called every day wondering how I am. I always tell Rachel to tell him I'm busy or just sleeping.

This weekend is the Youth Conference at Hope Assembly of God, and to be honest I don't want to go.

Rachel keeps telling me over and over again that I need to go, so to shut her up about this whole God thing, I'm going.

I have firmly decided that I'm atheist. Where was God when I needed him? He wasn't there when I was crying on the inside, well still crying.

A slight rapping began on my door, getting louder at the minute."Becca?" Rachel called outside of the door.

"It's open, come in." I said while Rachel literally busted through the guest room, that I was staying in.

Rachel walked over to me, sighing greatly, she took one of my hands in her's.

She looked at the bandage that was on my pale colored limb.

The look on her face said it all, worry, concern, sadness, and fear. Rachel was the kind of person, that you could tell how she was feeling by the look in her eyes.Her blond hair tied up in a measly bun, with some loose curls framing her face. Her light grey eyes beaming into mine. Her eyes showed curiosity. I hadn't told her or anyone what happened at the hospital between Jamie and I. All she knows is that Jamie called her saying how he needed to go home. When she got to the hospital, she immediately began questioning me what happened. I couldn't tell her, I just couldn't. 

She huffed a sigh, and ran her perfect manicured fingers over my rugged locks, and looked deeply into my eyes.

"Bec's, I'm only asking this once more. What happened between you and Jamie? And don't start saying "Nothing happened" cause I know something did. I saw your face when I walked in that room. That face meant something did happen. The look you had, of slight embarrassment and how flushed it was, how your lips were slightly swollen. Now I have my ideas of what happened, but I need to know the truth." She looked at me, while my mouth was gaping open in shock. 

Was it really that obvious?

I took a deep breath and sighed heavily.

I gazed up into Rachel's eyes, so she could see that I'm being honest.

"He kissed me." I softly blurted out. Rachel's eyes widened. She even let out a little gasp.

Tears began to form and they started to cloud my vision, before I could do anything about them.

"He kissed you? What happened?" 

I laid my head back on the soft fluffy down pillow and replayed the memory in my mind as I told Rachel.

"Well, I had awoken from a dream, that I will tell you about later, and I looked over at him taking in his presence. He woke up a few minutes later and scooted his chair to me. He asked me how I slept and I said pretty good for being in a hospital bed, and he complained he has to sleep in a chair. So i brought up about him going home and getting some sleep and he just looked at me, gazing into my eyes. Then he just kissed me." She looked at me like she was waiting for me explain more.

So I continued. 

"At first, I didn't know what to do. I mean I've kissed boys, but he wasn't a boy, it was like kissing a man. I was too shocked to do anything, but it felt like minutes passed and my lips began to move with his. Rachel, that was the most intense kiss ever."

"Well, what happened that made him want to leave?"

I knew she would ask this. I braced myself and told her. "Well, the kiss got intense, and he deepened it, turning it into french. After, I was filled with so many feelings and I didn't know what to think. He looked at me and it looked like he instantly regretted it. He had pushed himself from me, physically and mentally. He had said he was sorry, but I felt sorry, so I told him that. And all of the sudden, he got angry telling me that it was just lust and sin, and how it shouldn't have happened. Then he called you and left."

She looked at me, mouth hanging wide open. 

"Are you serious?" Rachel said, mouth still on the floor. "Wow! That's why you have been avoiding him, huh?"

"I've been avoiding him? Huh, is it that obvious?" I said looking a my cousin, still in shock.

"He calls every day, so does your mom. She wants to know when you are coming home."

I roll my eyes and huff a deep sigh. "She can ask and wonder all she wants, but I don't want to go home. She tells me she hates me everyday. I know she only does it when she's drunk, but i want to know what I did. You know to make her hate me."

Rachel, pulled her reddish locks out of the bun and ran a hand through her disheveled hair." I know. We all want to know, only God does though. All we can do is pray."

I looked at Rachel. How can she pray to a God that leaves me lonely and broken?

I pull my covers back up to my shoulders and close my eyes, wanting sleep to take over, but my cousin has other ideas. "So, tell me about this dream you had. You said you would tell me." I opened my eyes annoyed at my cousin, and began telling her my dream." Well, I don't know where I was, but it was beautiful. Anyways a voice spoke, it was a calming voice. He was saying, I think it was a he, to trust him and all this other stuff. Then he ended saying a verse from the bible I think it was a verse. It was for I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Then he said I am the great I am. Then I woke up, with sweat dripping from my brow." Rachel looks at me, with her eyebrows raised in shock and confusion.

"Wow Becca. Was that the first one you have had?" She said looking at me with curiosity gracing her beautiful face. I think back to the first dream that I had when I was in the hospital. It replayed in my mind. The creatures than hung on me and the voice that calmed me. I could remember the look on my mothers face when she was kicking me..

I look over to Rachel, her facial expression breaking me from my thoughts.

"No, it wasn't." I said looking at Rachel. " I had one when I was in the hospital when I tried to hang myself. It was weird, though." 

"Tell me about it." Rachel said.

I sat back and told her my dream.

*******************************

Jamie's POV

The whole time I have been thinking about Becca. She will not leave my mind. I have prayed so hard that God would allow her to eave my mind. So today I decided to go see my friend Sam, he will know what to do. I rushed out of the house and hopped into my cherry red convertible, and drove the qick ten minute drive to Sam's house. The trees were swaying in the breeze and the sun shining in the sky. 

My thoughts began to flood with Becca, and the kiss. Ugh, I wish I could forget it, but I can't forget it. All I want is her lips back on mine, what am I saying? I silently began to pray. "Lord, please clear my mind of these unholy thoughts and Lord whatever plans you have let them be good." I said amen right as I pulled into Sam's long narrow driveway. His big one story house, is actually amazing on the inside, with the vibrant colors of yellows and oranges. He lives alone, with him being in his early twenties. I walked up to the the long, wide set of double doors and sighed knocking.

Sam answered the door, looking rather handsome in his dark wash jeans, and his bright blue button up polo, with his long brown hair cascading to his shoulders in long waves. His dark set blue eyes, shining in the light.. 

He threw his hand out to me and his soft husky voice saying" Hey, dude! What's up?" I grabbed his hand and pulled him into a bro hug.

"Dude, I need advice. I got problems." I said grabbing the back of my neck nervously. 

"Sure dude, What's up?" He said as we walked over to the cushy in the main room.

I laid back on the soft plush three-seater couch and poured my heart out to my best friend.

"You remember that girl Becca I told you about?" I asked Sam, whilst he looked at me with interest and curiosity.

"Yeah I remember. What about her?" 

I mentally slapped myself, before telling my best friend my "problems". I took a deep breath and replied, wondering what he will say next.

"Well, I found her almost dead and she had tried to kill herself. She was trying to bleed out. So I picked her up and rushed her to the ER, knowing my dad would know what to do. So, I ended up staying with her, no matter how many times her cousin Rachel told me to go home." His eyes light up at the name Rachel. That's interesting. I'll have to ask him about that later.

"Well, the day before she went home from the hospital, I don't know what came over me, but I kissed her." His face went to shock instantly. 

"You, what?" His face growing into a huge grin, his eyebrows shooting up.

"Yeah, I kissed her. And now we both regret the kiss, and she's avoiding me. I think she's pushing me away. I don't know why, but I feel like drawn to her. I can't explain it."

"Well, the only thing I can say is, that wait it out. I mean you haven't known her long. Get to know her first, then try to become more than friends. Look, pray about it too, prayer always help." He says, his eyes looking solemn. I knew this was going to get here, talking about God. I mean don't get me wrong, I love God so much and he is first in my life, but I am a little angry at him for taking my brother from me and it was my fault. I still blame myself everyday for it. If I hadn't thrown the ball as far as I did, he would be here with me. I try to hold back the tears from the memory. I don't blame God, I blame myself. 

"God and her aren't on good terms, I think. Every time I bring up God she snaps and I have no clue why. I have tried to get her to open up to me, but every attempt has failed."

"Maybe she resents him? Maybe something has happened that has made her not believe in him. Maybe something has happened traumatic to her and she is pushing God away, because she blames him." He says making a perfect assumption.

"Yeah, you are probably right. I'm gonna go see her. I want to get to know her." I say standing up.

Sam quickly strides to my side and places his hands on my shoulders. "Dude, I know you want to know about Rachel. But there isn't much to tell. We met at a Youth Convention like six months ago and we sort of hit it off, but now I can't tell if she has feelings for me or not. She hides them well. But I'll be honest, I miss her and we hardly talk anymore. Last time I saw her was when she and Becca were eating lunch one day where I worked. I flirted a bit trying to hint that I liked her, but she remained distant, but I don't know why."

I felt bad for Sam. I can tell he really likes Rachel. I'm still in shock that, my best friend likes the cousin of the girl, who has captured my heart. I just hope everything works out for them.

**************************

After a few minutes of 'bonding time', I give Sam a "Bro" hug and walk out to my car and take the fifteen minute journey to Rachel's house, to talk to Becca.

**********************

I pull into Rachel's long narrow driveway, and I park my car and strut to the front door and hesitate before knocking.

After a few minutes, I finally man up and knock on the pale, off white door.

After what feels like an eternity, Mrs. Kay, Rachel's mom.

Her blonde hair gracing her shoulders, falling down to her waist. Her bright grayish, blue eyes piercing mine. The baby blue skirt she is wearing, falls down to the bare maple, hardwood floor, complementing the off white off the shoulder crop top she is wearing.

"Jamie!" She exclaims. "What are you doing here?" She asked me. What could I say really? Oh, I;m here to see your niece, because we kissed and we need to talk about it? Heck no! I can't say that!!

"Oh, I'm just here to check on Becca. I wanted to see how she was doing. Is she home?" I mentally prayed she wouldn't be here. I don't know why I'm so nervous. Why did I even come here? Oh yeah right, I need to talk to her.

The plump, blond haired woman looked at me with generosity in her eyes. 

"Yes, she's home. Let me get her." She stepped away from the and yelled into the open air, lifting her head towards the staircase. "Becca! You have a visitor." Her small voice sure is soft but it can carry when she shouts.

Within five minute, the brown locked girl, slowly made her way down the wooden stair case. She looked practically exhausted. Her hair is matted and there are bags slowly starting to form under her eyes, and she looks really thin. Has she even been eating. 

She walked over to me and glared at me, her blue eyes burning holes into mine. My breath caught in my throat. Her form looks as beautiful as ever. She is the most gorgeous woman I have ever laid my eyes on.

"Jamie?" She questioned, her small voice slightly hoarse.

I looked at her, showing her that I want to talk to her alone.

"Can we talk outside?" She begged, pleading in her eyes. I nod my head and follow her to the back porch of her aunts angelic two story abode.

We make it to the patio, and she throws herself into my arms. I am caught off guard, as Becca begins to sob into my chest. Wait, what is going on here?

"Becca? What is going on? Why are you crying?" I plead with her, her eyes slightly beginning to swell due to the crying..

"Jamie.. My parents abuse me.."


End file.
